Sex on a train? Find out why Katie Hopkins had a better weekend than you

Unless your weekend involved overcrowding, desperation and public penetration; then I’m afraid Katie Hopkins had a much better time. Or not, depending how you look at it.

The controversial columnist found herself in quite the pickle during a cross-country commute on Sunday. Which she obviously tweeted her way through.

‘I really don’t want to become one of those people who complain about trains,’ Katie wrote. ‘But @FGW – you have really rather forced my hand.’

I really don't want to become one of those people who complain about trains. But @FGW – you have really rather forced my hand.

— Katie Hopkins (@KTHopkins) July 26, 2015

Keen to keep the peace, First Great Western quickly tweeted back, writing: ‘Hi Katie. What’s up? Lewis.’

Which inspired Katie to then provide a detailed response of the problems she’d encountered during her journey so far.

‘@FGW darling, people are squatting in the aisles and fornicating in the toilets just to numb the horror of it all,’ she tweeted in reply. ‘Save our Souls. #sos’

@FGW darling, people are squatting in the aisles and fornicating in the toilets just to numb the horror of it all. Save our Souls. #sos

— Katie Hopkins (@KTHopkins) July 26, 2015

Social media man Lewis on the First Great Western account then apologized for her inconvinience, replying: ‘Hi Katie, It’s been busy today, apologies for the difficult conditions. Lewis.’


@KTHopkins Hi Katie. It's been busy today, apologies for the difficult conditions. Lewis

— First Great Western (@FGW) July 26, 2015

And then the whole thing all got a little ridiculous.

‘Lewis my flower pot, I don’t blame you. But really, truly, this is no life for one so young. You need a new vocation. Set yourself free,’ the Celebrity Big Brother star wrote as she reached out to ‘young’ Lewis.

Then in the biggest shock of the whole exchange, Lewis was no longer apparent and a mysterious man named Josh opted to take over the conversation.

‘Hi Katie – apologies again, but I assure you it’s not all bad sending tweets on a lovely Sunday evening! Josh’


@KTHopkins Hi Katie – apologies again, but I assure you it's not all bad sending tweets on a lovely Sunday evening! Josh

— First Great Western (@FGW) July 26, 2015

Which sparked outrage from Katie’s 585,000 followers. ‘What happened to Lewis?’ one wrote. ‘Who the f### is Josh?’

@FGW @KTHopkins what happened to Lewis ? Who the f### is josh

— Adam (@AJWard1993) July 26, 2015

Our thoughts exactly.

If you’re wondering how the whole thing then ended; Katie urged both Lewis and Josh to build her a new carriage, before then tweeting she needed a wee so badly that if she cried she’d ‘piss her chest.’

A lovely end, to a lovely story?